Good old Greg, aka Mr.Standby and Deliver. Like a sentry guarding a castle gate, Greg is always at the ready. Karen and Greg met online, at a dating site known to be somewhat "progressive" in its offerings. Their first meeting was more a playful affair than one filled with roamnce and the promise of a future, but sometimes that is just the way it goes, and it suited Karen just fine. This casual arrangement had been going on for more than a year, and by Karen's estimation, while it wasnot love, at least it was steady and there when she wanted it. She is 33 and feeling the effects of her prime. This pays the bills, so to speak.
And if she and Greg aren't exactly friends, they are friendly anough to have sec few weeks or so. She thinks he is cute (and so do her friends), and he knows which buttons to push. And Karen feels empowered by having sex like a man, whenever she wants it, without any of the messy emotional apsects. Who needs a boyfriend to take care of, and all those obligations? All the guys she knew slept around and had meaningless (but decent)sex, and so could she. Her arrangement with Greg is proof that it's possible.
But work and her travel schedule are leaving her little free time of late, and it has been months since she and Greg have had one of their evenings. She is in the mood for some fun, and his text message earlier in the week had been an unexpected but welcome diversion from an otherwise tedious week of branding brainstorm sessions. Greg knew how to tantalize her with words, and their chats had a decidedly dirty flavor. For Karen, the lead-up and the raunchy chatting are a big part of the turn-on, and it is something she finds difficult to bring into her more serious relationships. But with Greg, she can let loose and be wild, and she finds that freedom exciting. There is no shyness or concern for what he might think the next day. In fact, there is usually no next day, as they rarely have sleepovers. Theirs is a relationship built on efficiency and mutual needs, nothing more. Neither is being deceived, and they are honest about the other aspects of their dating life. Karen doesn't care that Greg dates other women, so long as he is safe, clean, and available when she wants him.
And so it si that she finds herself driving to Greg's appartment at 10:15 pm on this particular Friday, her elegant La Perla lingerie covered by a knee-length wool skirt and a cream-colored tank top. They had long agao dispensed with the pretense of meeting at a bar, onlu to leave half-finished drinks on the table as they raced home to rip each other's clothes off. It's more honest to just show up and get down to business. And Karen loves the idea of appearing at his door with such a naughty purpose in mind.
Upon her arrival, Greg undresses her slowly, taking time to admore all the work she has put into her outfit. But his delicacy soon turns to schoolboy fumbling, and within 20 min thay have accomplished their mission. Somehow the idea of this affair is better than the actual sex. When it is over, Greg rushes out of bed to show her some new CDs and books he had bought. He has a habit of getting up immediately, to clean up his apartment or check his e-mail. She does not expect any intimacy, though she is often ready foe a second round of fun well before Greg is. So, she just leys there, looking at the scattered remnants of her outfit, feeling vacant and not particularly satisfied.
She dresses and gets reasy to leave, despote Greg's assurance that he will back in business adter a short rest. More than anything, she wants to take a shower, watch TV, and be alone. She will have to finish the job Greg started, when she gets home. Driving back, she begins to consider the wisdom of this quasi-relationships. If the sex is not even great, what is the point ? And was this casual arrangement at odds with what she really wanted from life ? When she gets home she makes a vow to curtail things with Greg and to put end to this casual arrangement. She upholds this vow for 6 weeks, until the Friday afternoon when she receives a deliciously dirty text message inviting her once again to the edge of sweet release.
Choices, choicesm choices. Having choices is a luxury, ant it's better than not having them. But the real challenge is how you use them.
Enjoy Girls! :)
This test is an extrat of " Be honest, you're not that into him either, Raise your standards and reach for the love you deserve" By Ian Kerner, Ph.D. Author of She comes first
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